Trainspotting

If you haven’t ever heard me whinge about public transport, more specifically the trains, well you mustn’t listen in close enough. Because to tell you the truth I whinge about it a lot. Its not the trains per se, it’s the other passengers. Firstly, there is the Clockwork Missisa (funny dialect word I picked up – Daniel can’t supply a direct translation, but he tells me this lady on the train is definitely a Missisa!). So Clockwork Missisa, who catches the same train AM and PM and sits in the same seat, doesn’t like sharing that seat. It’s public transport love, the whole ‘public’ concept seems to be lost on her. So one day I dare to sit next to her on the empty seat. She looks at me – cranky eyebrows. Then as I settle in – she pinches me. Yes, pinches! She says “turn your earphones down’. Now, seeing that I could clearly hear her would suggest that my earphones weren’t actually that loud. So when I respond that I don’t think my podcast of First Tuesday Bookclub is what is offending her ears, she quickly stopped pinching me. So now Daniel and I sit near her and talk quite loudly when we see her on the train, just to annoy her. It’s a sick hobby of ours!

So, Missisa aside, we are on the train last Friday, running late for a dinner with close friends. It was Friday night, and like some of the other people on the train, we were also thinking about what we would wear and how we would look (that’s more for the ladies regarding make up). But then, I turn my head to the side, mostly to increase the volume of our conversation towards the Missisa and I spot another lady with a compact mirror in her hands, held up to look at her face. So I start thinking, hmm, good idea, maybe my make up will need a touch up prior to us racing off to dinner. So as she raises the black item to her face, I’m thinking, yep, more eyeliner. Then the black item continues past her eye and moves toward her eyebrows. Hmm, an eyebrow pencil, good luck with that on the train. Um no, it wasn’t an eyebrow pencil either. It was tweezers and she was plucking her eyebrows!! Is this is beyond the acceptability of social niceties?!!

Who’s the Missisa now?!!

Snooty toilet paper

OK, so you are all wondering, “What is snooty toilet paper?” Well, let me tell you there is a lot of snootiness associated with toilet paper these days. And I am not just referring to the extensive snobbiness of toilet paper varieties that stare at you in the supermarket aisle. “pick me, pick me” they call “I’m so special that your family will think you love them more because you bought my special toilet paper fanciness.” Does that make sense? Or have been hanging around the supermarket too long?

Not only is there toilet paper snobbery in the supermarket, there is such judgement in the most unbelievable places. Last week, whilst enjoying a ladies afternoon tea at the Observatory Hotel with china teacups, silver teapots and pretentious sandwiches without the crust. Are crusts that offensive? I admit that I blame them for making my hair curly at age 12, I certainly don’t hold it against them.

So amongst the fine china and best manners, I note that the toilet paper in the bathroom has been folded to a point. Actually, on inspection, every stall had the toilet paper folded in this fashion. Is there a reason for this? Does it make it sturdier to tug at? Did the cleaners have nothing to do? Or is it just that ‘so exclusive’ thing to do at hotels? Well I am going to fold my toilet paper so that I, too, appear to be both of the fancy and the schmancy school of thought.

Now to the next debate. Scruncher or folder?